This time of year, I typically post Valentine’s Day gift guides or ideas for romantic getaways. So when the folks at Saranghae reached out to me and asked if I would be interested in writing about my journey to self-love, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to shift gears a bit! So much of the Valentine’s Day content out there focuses on relationships we have with others. While that’s all cute and fun and festive, it also overlooks the most important relationship of all – the one we have with ourselves. So this Valentine’s Day, I’m sharing a bit of my self-love story plus 8 ways to increase your self-love!
MY SELF-LOVE JOURNEY
My 33 year journey to self-love has been a long and winding one. I won’t bore you with the details of my entire life story, but let’s just say I faced a few challenges along the way that caused my confidence to suffer – like dealing with my parent’s divorce at an early age, experiencing severe shyness and being bullied in high school. To things later on like moving to New York, failing the bar and struggling to find a job. And most recently, having relationships with close friends and even family members dissolve.
Each of these challenges led to periods of lowered self-esteem, self-doubt and ultimately a lack of self-love. But they also presented an opportunity for growth. It hasn’t been easy and I’m still very much a work in progress, but over time I’ve managed to achieve a level of happiness, contentment and confidence. And my self-love grows a little bit stronger everyday. Below are a few of the steps that helped me get there.
8 WAYS TO INCREASE YOUR SELF-LOVE
1. Practice self-care: Taking time to take care of yourself is vital. Whether that be pampering yourself with a bubble bath, treating yourself to a pedicure or a luxury skincare treatment, lighting candles, playing your favorite music, indulging with a fancy dinner or just binge watching your favorite show. Regardless of what you do, it’s so important to allow yourself time to decompress and recharge.
2. Do more of what you love: Recently I’ve found so much happiness in returning to the things that bring me joy. For me that includes cooking during the holidays, playing out in the snow, taking solo trips and getting lost in photography. Whatever it is that brings you joy, I encourage you to do more of it!
3. Eliminate toxic people: This has been a big one for me over the last few years. I am the type of person who always wants to keep the peace, even if that means maintaining relationships that aren’t the healthiest. But recently, I’ve learned the importance of stepping away from the people who cause me pain whether they be longtime friends or even family members. Placing your own peace of mind over close relationships isn’t easy, but it’s a necessary step for increasing self-love.
4. Stop playing the comparison game: In the age of social media, where everyone’s highlight reels are on a constant loop, it can be so easy to compare your own less than glamorous life to the perfectly curated images you see. Stop. Doing. That! You’ll lose that game every time. If you find yourself feeling less than by scrolling through your high school classmate’s Instagram or Facebook feed, delete them (or at least mute them) and instead seek out content that inspires you!
5. Unplug & embrace silence: We are inundated with information non-stop thanks to social media, our smart phones and endless access to the world around us. It can get overwhelming and this constant stimulation prevents us from connecting with our inner voice. Every now and then, I find it helpful to unplug and embrace the silence. I notice that when I eliminate the noise and distractions swirling around me, it creates space for creativity and joy to break through.
6. Start journaling: Putting your thoughts to paper can be an effective way to work through issues and quiet your mind. Whether you practice morning pages – longhand, stream of consciousness writing typically done first thing in the morning – or you just jot down your thoughts at the end of the day, journaling can be a powerful tool to get centered and reconnect with yourself.
7. Silence negative thoughts: The voices of doubt and negativity that can creep in at a moment’s notice are hard to combat – particularly for women, particularly for women creatives. But if left unchecked, these negative thoughts and limiting beliefs, all of which are lies, can take a toll. When they start to bubble up, it can help to counteract them by thinking positive truths about yourself. Or better yet, find a mirror and say something loving to yourself out loud. It might feel weird at first, but over time those negative thoughts will get quieter.
8. Stay grateful: A great way to increase your self-love is by practicing gratitude. I like to start of my morning by jotting down something I’m grateful for. Even if it’s as small as the sound of birds chirping outside my window. I find that this little exercise sets the tone for my whole day, puts me in a more positive head space and leads to more patience and peace, which in turn creates more room for love.
WANT MORE?
For 5 MORE ways to increase your self-love that I’ve found incredibly useful PLUS the awesome app I use for my daily affirmations AND links to the videos I use for my morning yoga/stretching routine, just click the link below!
Where are you on your journey towards self-love? What are some steps that have helped you along the way? Share your comments below!
***Thank you to Saranghae for sponsoring this post. As always, all opinions expressed are my own.
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