The big 3-0 is fast approaching and I find myself full of mixed emotions. I’m anxious, restless and constantly bombarded with the sense that time is fleeting. Finding time to travel, spend time with friends & family and do the things I truly love has become increasingly more precious and important. I’m reflective about the choices I’ve made and how they’ve shaped my current path. I sometimes wonder what might have been had I accepted a different job offer, if I had never moved to New York or if I had started working right after undergrad rather than going straight to law school. I look at my peers, many of whom have started families or have reached milestones in their careers, and can’t help but question if I’ve made the right decisions. But I always seem to end up at the same conclusion, which is that I cannot change my past.  I have to be present in the space and place I find myself, stop comparing myself to others and appreciate and embrace the here and now.

I’m slowly starting to accept the fact that I am not immune to the passage of time.  All those years of calling myself a twenty something and feeling like that would never end are almost over.  Some days I feel totally crazy and panicked by the whole thing. I’m well aware that I’m getting older, but I also realize that if I focus on that I’m going to wake up one day and actually BE old and have to live with the fact that I wasted my youth worrying about aging, which is just silly!

I know I’m not “old”, but there is a distinctly different mindset that begins to take hold as you near your thirties. I describe it this way: when you’re in your early 20’s it’s like you’re frolicking in a magical forest. You’re finally independent, your friends are your family, you’re having new experiences, meeting new people and basically living without a care in the world. Then 29 hits and everything shifts. You’re still in those magical woods, but now you start to see a desolate field inching closer into focus and suddenly you’re aware that real life is about to hit. You realize that the choices you make have a greater impact. Instead of worrying about what you’re going to wear out on Friday night you now consider anti-aging skincare remedies, thinking a little longer before eating that donut because you know it won’t burn off as fast, you can’t stay up nearly as late as you used to and you start reevaluating your relationships and choices. Basically, shit gets real!

My analogy might be a little wacky, but I know I’m not only one who feels this way. Many of my friends have expressed similar thoughts. The bottom line is that change is always hard and it takes time to adjust. Entering into a new decade is a big transition and while everyone handles it a little differently, I think most people would agree that you can’t help but contemplate your life a bit.

While I can’t say that I’ve fully come to grips with the fact that I’m bidding my twenties farewell, I also don’t want to seem all doom and gloom! I do believe that the feelings I’m having about time slipping away will motivate me to face my fears and accomplish the things I have been putting off because I had no sense of urgency. The bottom line is that life moves fast and it’s important to make the most of it no matter what your age. I am focused on taking joy in the little things and cherishing every minute I have. I hope you do too…happy wending!